Late Thursday night, Gaga debuted her “Telephone” video on E! News. Yesterday it hit VEVO.com and LadyGaga.com, where it’s currently streaming. “Telephone” is no “Thriller” – it’s not even up to the level of “Smooth Criminal” – but thanks to its hyper-sexuality and a great hook, it’s a video that would have fit right in with the MTV of old.
Featuring Beyonce and directed by Jonas Akerlund (best known for Madonna’s “Ray of Light” and Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” videos), the clip is a 9-minute orgy of the bizarre.
Lady Gaga is all about nutso vision – her latest includes prison girl fights, bikinis constructed from Fourth of July bunting and a pair of sunglasses made from burning cigarettes.
It opens with Beyonce bailing Gaga out of a jail populated by what looks to be Pussycat Girls and body-building ex-strippers. After a fevered, fetish-fueled dance number, Gaga and Beyonce embark on a road trip/killing spree through the desert punctuated by singing and dancing. It all ends with a tease for a sequel.
Will the girls get caught? Will they continue to defy the laws of men and fashion?
Who cares? The plot is just a device to deliver a series of graphic images and crazy costumes. It’s eye candy laced with LSD.
While Gaga’s monsters will eat up her strange style (beer-can curlers, nipples covered by tiny strips of electrical tape), there’s nothing groundbreaking about “Telephone.” Beyonce is miscast as a skanky villain. The sex is mostly gratuitous, though it would have fit nicely between Motley Crue and Whitesnake vids on ’80s MTV. But it is nice to see someone at least try to top “Thriller.” If anyone can, it’s Gaga. Just not in this video.